Last night I hit the wall. Ran out of steam. Burned out. I’ve been trying so hard to keep up with this
unrealistic idealistic standard of scratch cooking, bread baking, cleaning, laundry and all the other chores of living that I just cracked last night. And I’m fairly convinced that the copious amounts of Dr. Pepper that I’ve been consuming regularly along with the junk food I’ve been eating all week hasn’t been helping my ability to keep my cool.
So when I went into the laundry room last night to run the next wash cycle on the diapers (thinking I was all ahead of the game by starting them before leaving for work) only to discover they were all layed out and dried by my helpful mother-in-law/nanny. And I kinda lost it. But why?? That should be a good thing, right? Well, they weren’t washed. Just rinsed. So, back in the washer they went. Now I know that this isn’t a big deal. I didn’t waste any effort. But for some reason, it just threw my OCD into crazy mode.
|I didn’t take any pictures of my tortillas,
however they did look a little like this.
And the multi-stage dinner prep? Yeah, that was destined for failure before I even began. Beef enchiladas made with homemade tortillas. Because I know that Matt doesn’t like the whole wheat ones we had on hand and I was putting forth my best effort to stay out of the grocery store.
Let me interrupt to say that if you aren’t Mexican or know anyone that is Mexican, it is near impossible to make tortillas. I had absolutely no idea what I was doing and I’m pretty sure that I ended up cooking plain flour discs. Sounds yummy, eh? I stopped once I realized that they wouldn’t roll, therefore making enchilada assembly IMPOSSIBLE. I cooked four and threw out the rest of the dough.
The moral of the story? Sometimes good enough is good enough.
Sure, it’s nice to have freshly baked bread in the house. And I enjoy
eating making it. But to set the standard of only eating homemade bread? That’s asking for failure. And that’s the kind of pressure I’ve been putting on myself lately. (Ironically while eating Nachos Bell Grande for lunch.)
And that’s what I need to work on. Simplifying. And accepting my limitations. Because the reality is that I’m not a stay at home mom. And my desire to be is going to push me over the edge if I don’t give in a little.