Me: Do you have any cash left?
Matt: A little, why?
Me: I was just asking to see if that’s enough of an allowance.
Matt: Back up off my money.
Me: I wasn’t going to take your money… I just wanted to see if it was enough, not enough, too much…
Matt: No, it wasn’t enough. Gimme more.
Me: You just said you still have some left. Don’t lie to your wife. You’re going to hell for that.
Matt: But I paid cash for the milk, cheese, and tortillas I bought yesterday.
Matt: Because I debited a carton of cigarettes. I was trying to balance it out.
Me: I told you that’s what the cash was for. It’s coming out of next week’s allowance.
Matt: I’ll go to the ATM and get more.
Me: I’ll take your debit card. You’ll never find it.
Matt: I’ll go to the bank and get a new one.
Me: Not if I tell them not to.