In 2004, the first of my friends got married. Then earlier this year, they filed for divorce.
Living states away, I had no idea they were even struggling. But apparently, there had been problems for years. And finally they separated.
She has moved on. But I haven’t.
I know that sounds strange. Because what right do I have to be concerned about their marital status. And shouldn’t I want what’s best for my friends?
But I can’t get over the sadness that one of my close friends gave up on her marriage. Gave up on the vows that I witnessed her say such a short time ago.
I know she wasn’t happy. And I certainly didn’t want that for her. But at the same time I was angry. Did she do everything possible to save the marriage? How could she allow herself to become a statistic?
I was able to spend the day with her yesterday as she was passing through town. And unfortunately, with her she brought more news. Another mutual friend had just separated from his wife this past weekend.
It seems like relationships are collapsing all around me.
My dad always told me that marriage was finding someone you like enough and the rest was work. And I’ve always taken that to heart. Which is why Matt and I have committed to never. giving. up.
I know that’s a strong statement. But to us, it’s that important to maintain our family. And I truly believe that most problems (with the exception of abuse) are surmountable.
That’s why it makes me so sad to see people give up.
I’m not saying that it will be easy because 40 years from now I have no idea what our life will look like. But one thing I do know is that it can’t be harder than divorce.